Upsets Ducks is a largely predictable dance album, settling for layer changes every bar that is a multiple of four.

This same routine over and over again makes for very tedious listening that doesn’t go many places except into your CD rack to gather dust and rot away, almost never to be played again. The track lengths also hardly encourage patient listening.

The only way your stereotypical dance fan will ever truly appreciate this is with the same approach as all their other CDs – listen to them on pills. Buzzing.

Eventually all of the tracks merge together, with no real standout tracks to break the boredom. This album is literally like smashing your head against a wall in 4/4. There is no payoff, just the same idea being recycled infinitely. It’s too non-descript to be enjoyed in clubs – it’s actually dark and dull at the same time.

While the moments of discomfort and discordance can straighten the hairs on the back of your neck at times (taking the background drones of how not to play piano on Jacktales as an example), the incessant beats and uncreative loops prove only as exercises in killing time instead of owning it.

The total album time could’ve quite easily been cut in half, with all of the tracks needlessly exceeding the five minute mark and Attention: Upsets Ducks smashing through eight with very little precision. Considering there are only a handful of catchy hooks throughout this snoozefest, it’s ridiculously easy to forget which track is which.

With such bland song writing it’s apparent that Basteroid will never make the big time or the big bucks.

If the brains behind Basteroid realised that variation was needed, this would have been a great release. Singing may have also added some much needed spice to this bland mix of German techno noise, as well as changing the keyboard settings from fuzz to… well, anything else really.