In no more than 25 words, explain what makes you different to what’s out there already…

“We’re 10 times sexier; 20 times funkier and we aren’t afraid to write a song about befriending a philosophical tree.”

It’s a wet and windy Tuesday evening in February and you’re on tour. Why should people venture out to come see you?

"Because if they do we’ll no doubt give each and every person who comes a huge Jupiter Monkeys sized hug.”

Are you currently holding down other jobs? If so, what are they, and would you recommend them to other aspiring artists in need of cash?

”The majority of us do; just the normal stuff: Sammy does bar work and always seems to be loaded and Joe works as a student pharmacy technician. I’m getting rather desperate on the job front, I will literally take anything; I don’t think there’s an employer in Nottingham without my CV.

”I am in so much debt that I’ve been forced to start selling things on ebay (Which is quite a good little earner until you only have items of sentimental value left, aspiring artists). Adam is in college and Steve is a dirty layabout (pfft, drummers)”

You’re on top of a soapbox, telling everyone where you aspire to be in five years time. Where do you aim to be, and what’s your mission statement?

“We aim to be in your heads; twisting and turning the switches.”

For a bonus point – tell us a joke! You don’t have to, but if you feel the urge…

“Oh go on then: What’s Orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

Hohohoho! You just shouldn’t have asked, that joke is your own fault!”